Friday, September 2, 2011

numb



I'm so hungry it hurts
but I can't bring myself to eat
The pressure of tears makes my eyes bulge and the world spin
but I can't let myself cry

You told me I never let my emotions show
because I keep my cards too close to my chest
I told you I'd been hurt enough for twenty lifetimes
and that it's usually my own damn fault.

For feeling too much, too soon
and giving portions of a long shattered heart
to thieving magpies like change to the homeless
so forgive me if the tiny fragment I've got left
is as black as I like my coffee,
and cold as that coffee gets
when I let it sit out overnight, alone,
and I can't trust anyone, least of all myself.

I want what you want,
but I'm done accepting conterfeit checks
and rather than pretend I've got the feeling,
I'll fake the numbness.

Without risk, there is no gain,
without loss, there is no pain,
but the only thing I have left to give
is everything that I have left,
and I have to hedge my bets
to keep from losing it.

But I guess I put enough on the table
to feel it when you took it home with you,
and I guess that's the pain
that reminds me I've got something left to lose.

Fuck you very much for inspiration,
at least pain moves my fingers 'cross the keyboard,
It's easier to tell a secret to a stranger
than to give ammunition to someone who can use it.

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