Documents were recently uncovered which prove without a doubt that the US Pledge of Allegiance was not, as previously thought, authored in 1892 by a Socialist Baptist minister.
This also proves that "Under God" was NOT added in response to the Red Scare of the 50s, but was there from the very beginning.
The actual author remains unknown, but recordings of George Washington presenting the pledge to the legislature were found on a steam powered MP3 player that had fallen behind a stack of Ben Franklin's erotic French lithographs in the library of congress where it lay forgotten for two hundred years until Lupe pulled the desk out to vacuum.
I present to you now, the full, unedited, complete transcript of this momentous occasion.
